As the month winds down, I find that I am bringing home the new concepts and ideas that I have explored over the days. I am implementing them. Relating them to what I already know and practice.
A Story:
Today I found myself in a situation where, despite my best planning and effort, I screwed things up. I was out of my depth. In deep s***. Yes, I did see a few pitfalls before I went in. I looked at the potential and weighed that against not stepping out of my comfort zone at all and….well…jumped in head-first.
It’s an Activator trait…do now, think later.
When I got around to the thinking part…with my head still spinning, I began to sort through the mess. The first level was to recognize the battle going on within myself. “Why didn’t you listen?” “That was a disaster.”
After a run on the treadmill, a hot shower and a long talk with my sister, I returned to my wisdom. I often get things twisted about. Sometimes I get to thinking (mistakenly) that the more I practice my alignment with source and the more I understand myself and the world around me, the more I build my self-esteem, the easier life gets.
When I know:
Life is not supposed to be about smooth sailing. It is about sailing smoothly through the choppy waters.
Tweet
Having your energy in alignment and your ‘vision’ dialed in doesn’t mean that the waters smooth out in front of your boat. It means that you are so in command of that boat that you can sail confidently through any storm.
Once I came to that understanding (again) my whole perspective changed.
Yes, I could have shied away from this potentially sticky situation, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to see my growth in motion
Here’s how it went:
I was up against some of my most potent triggers. Like having my competence doubted and my protocols questioned. Even though I felt the stirring of anger and resentment, it was easy to overpower with logic. The chaos of the situation, although aimed at me, wasn’t really about me at all. Like I said, I stepped into a volatile situation and, as the outsider, I became an easy target.
While the situation wasn’t about me, it clearly was for my benefit. My learning.
And what I learned was this:
In that moment, self-esteem wasn’t about standing up for myself and loudly proclaiming that I was right. It was about not joining the crowd and turning against myself. I could support others in their need to question and accuse without taking it on. After a bit of a debrief with myself, I actually congratulated myself on not shying away from the situation at the first warning signs.
To be clear, I am not saying run toward a tornado. By all means, follow self-preservation and have common sense. But sometimes, when you least expect it…you will end up in a mess…and that mess might be just what you need to move forward.
Why?
I believe that we choose to “play physical” on this earth for one reason. To experience. Not just the nice stuff, but the full spectrum of what is on offer. Every experience brings growth. It is this growth that we are after. In fact, it’s the only thing you can take to the here-after.
My experience today certainly showed me the growth that I have done just in this last month.
Today, I don’t have any steps. I just ask for a bit of awareness.
Have a look at your world. Hold up a different lens. One that filters out the chaos and sees just the growth. How far have you come in the last days, weeks, months?
If you are inspired, have a look back to Day 1 when we asked all those questions about the current state of our self-esteem.
If today is your first day…feel free to take a look at those questions, too.
Self-esteem is a transient, subjective concept. Feel free to define it as you like. But do it with awareness, so that you can revisit it time and again. Always reaching for the next level.
My Spiritual Center 