Self-Love – Day 17 – Stress

Stress.

It’s such an overused term, abused even. Yet do we really know what is at the heart of stress?

The fact is, it’s different for everyone. The more we know about ourselves, the better we can understand the causes of stress for us. 

I like the fact that we divide it into two categories. Stress and Distress or Eustress and Distress.

Quickly, Eustress is that which is more positive. Distress is that negative kind that we mostly refer to as stress.

Some types of exercise (different for each body) are Eustress.

Some types of situations (different for each person) are Eustress. Also, environments, eating habits, relationships, major life events, etc. can all be Eustress.

Distress can be experienced in the same categories and in some of the same ways, depending on the person.

So how do we tell the difference? 

Luckily, the signs are readily apparent in our bodies, emotions and energy levels. And with the help of sciences like epigenetics and phenotypology, we have even more information. 

Generally, distress is felt over time as anxiety, sleeplessness, overwhelm, fatigue, lack of performance and success in everyday life. 

And, I think, we tend to blow it off as nothing or blow it up into something we can get attention for, based on what serves us best. That may seem harsh, but honestly, stress is praised and revered by society at large. And this serves no one, least of all those of us who are working to level-up our self-love. 

Let’s talk just a minute about self-love and stress.

We have seen the stats on stress over time. We know what it can do to our bodies and minds. We know what ramifications these things have on our overall lives and longevity.

To me, making the commitment to lower our stress levels is the ultimate in self-care, which translates to big points in the self-love scale.

The first step here is to know how we stress.

I am going to share with you some things that I have learned from the epigenetics and phenotyping that I have been studying. Then, you can take this knowledge and put it into your filter and look at your life to see what fits.

Here we go:

Steps:

1.  Timing Is Everything – You probably know if you are an early bird or a night owl. Did you know that if you try to live life as the opposite bird, you are putting yourself under stress? The tricky part here is that you may have lived life as the other bird out of necessity and now it feels natural. The big difference between the two is when you are able to handle “stress”. Because of their biology, Early Birds handle stress better in the morning. Night Owls do better in the afternoon or evening. So, if someone hits you with a major issue early in the morning, how do you handle it? Are you a “don’t talk to me until I have had my coffee” kind of person or are you able to hit the ground running? 
2. How Do You Party –  Are you the life of show or do you prefer quiet one-to-one evenings with deep conversations? We know the difference between introvert and extrovert, but do you know where you fall? Yes, it’s a continuum of sorts, but we will typically thrive at one end or the other even if we sometimes like to tiptoe into the other zone. Some people run toward big groups and large gatherings and others run away from them. Some of us even digest better if we eat with good company rather than by ourselves. For others, it’s the opposite. Knowing this and honoring this for ourselves is key to overall health.
3. Environment – Okay, so this one was the most gratifying for me to learn. I thrive when it’s warm, hot even. I literally freeze when it’s cold. My mind doesn’t even function. As it turns out, warm/hot and dry locations without too much wind are the best for my body. Aahhh….it is just nice to know that there is a biological reason for the way that I react to cold. It gives me a reason to keep the heat up in the winter and avoid air conditioning when possible. Chances are you already know where you feel the most comfortable. Sometimes just knowing that there is a biological reason that some things resonate and some don’t is enough to make the decision to choose your own comfort. 
4. Routine – Some of us thrive on routine and others on spontaneity. This is also a biological thing based on the fact that some bodies are able to cope better with whatever comes their way and other bodies need foresight for safety. 
5. Information Processing – Some brains are great at details and and naturally gather facts to assimilate into patterns. Others see the big picture, so they need an overview. If big picture people are asked to compile details, this is stressful. And the other way around. Biologically, we are predisposed to use certain parts of our brains more predominantly. If we are caught up in other parts of our brains, that takes energy away from other aspects of life and can lead to chronic stress if we are asked to do this over time. 
6. Focus – What part of the continuum of life you use as your lens affects how you look at the world. Some of us base what is happening now on what has happened in the past. Others look only to the future. Still others? It’s all about now. When you realize where your mind automatically functions, it is easier to train yourself to utilize the other perspectives. It also allows you to go easier on yourself if you didn’t think ahead or if you were afraid to move forward based on an experience of the past. Going against your natural instincts is stress on your body and mind, but if you gently nudge yourself to work from another perspective, then it relieves some of the stress. Also, you don’t succumb to how others want you to see things. You can bend without breaking yourself. 
7. Food – Weight Loss is 80% what you put in your mouth and 20% what you do in the gym, right? Actually, that’s kind of out-dated information. It doesn’t take into account the clock (like we discussed above). WHEN we eat something is just as important as what we eat. Let that sink in. Now add HOW we eat it on top of that. When and how are more important than what we eat. And what we eat varies from person to person. Superfoods can be super bad for some people. Diet (not restriction, but the content of our plates) is super-hyper-personal and can change on a yearly, seasonally and even daily basis. How do we ever figure it out? Well, we start with WHEN and HOW. Let’s take the early-bird, night owl scenario above. Your tummy may grumble the minute you get out of bed, or you may do best with a later breakfast. But almost no human does well eating within 3 hours of going to bed. Or really, after midnight. Our bodies have that circadian rhythm that syncs with the sun. So what does all of this have to do with stress? The closer you eat to the WHEN, HOW, WHAT needs of your particular body, the less stress you put on it and the better you digest and absorb nutrients.

Really? I could go on and on and on. I will leave it there for now. There is so much information to be utilized on how to treat these amazing bodies we have been gifted with. The more we learn, the better we understand our uniqueness and the easier our lives become. And easy = self-love!

If you want more, comment below.

There are 3 Ways I can help:

1. Join my Facebook group where we discuss all of these things and more to help you personalize your lifestyle.
2. Sign up for my free webinar that walks you through all of these things in detail so that you come away with some tangible practices to incorporate into your life to reduce your stress.
3. Book a 10 minute free call to discuss your needs and see if I can help.